crazy love.

So I'm reading this book called "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan, which I have had since about week 3 of camp last summer and have, until today, yet to make it past the first chapter. Today, I read chapters 2 and 3, and literally set my book down at one point and said to Cat and Kaila, "Guys, this book is blowing my mind right now." Honestly, I would love to put the entire third chapter (entitled "Crazy Love") on here for you to read, but that probably violates some type of copyright something, slash it is a lot of typing. I will share this, though, which is what I read that gave me a huge "WOW" moment and one of those, "that is SO cool, I have never thought about it that way before!" things.

Do I Have a Choice?
While I was speaking to some college students recently, an interesting twist on the contrast between our unresponsiveness and God's great desire for us came up. One student asked, "Why would a loving God force me to love Him?"
It seemed like a weird question. When I asked the student to clarify what he meant, he responded that God "threatens me with hell and punishment if I don't begin a relationship with Him."
The easy retort to that statement is that God doesn't' force us to love Him; it's our choice. But there was a deeper issue going on, and I wasn't sure how to answer it in the moment.
Now that I've had time to think about it, I would tell the student that if God is truly the greatest good on this earthy, would He be loving us if he didn't draw us toward what is best for us (even if that happens to be Himself)? Doesn't His courting, luring, pushing, calling and even "threatening" demonstrate His love? if He didn't do all of that, wouldn't we accuse Him of being unloving in the end, when all things are revealed?

I have always had a problem with those people that stand in front of the Co-Op/Union on the Drag and hold up those huge signs and yell at people because "we are all going to Hell if we don't as Jesus to save us." Their signs say something to that effect in big red firey letters, and they yell to all of us walking by like they know for sure that we are all heathens and have no idea that we are living terrible lives, nor do we care. This has always bothered me because first of all, how on earth is THIS supposed to show people Jesus? Are you really going to change my heart by yelling at me and waving a huge sign in my face? (I don't know, maybe. God can do whatever He wants, and use whatever He wants to draw people to Him, so okay, maybe this works in some cases.)

Secondly though, I always find myself walking by this scene thinking, "There is so much more than this." Yes, we are sinners and yes, we need Him to rescue us and yes, there is hell and yes, only He can save us. But it is about so much move than that. It is about having a personal relationship with a loving Creator who wants YOU. And because of that love, He has CHOSEN to rescue us. There is so much more than just "getting your ticket to Heaven" (as Dad always used to say when I was growing up). It is so much deeper than that, and it breaks my heart that the image of Jesus and Christianity that is portrayed in culture today misses it.

I was taught the song "Jesus Loves Me" as a young child: "Jesus loves me, this I know..." Even if you didn't grow up in a church, you probably know how it ends: "...for the Bible tells me so."
If you've spent any time in church, you've heard expressed, in some form or another, the idea that God loves us. I believed this for years becuase, as the song puts it, "the Bible tells me so." The only problem is that it was a concept I was taught, not something I implicitly knew to be true. For years, I "got" God's love in my head, checked the right answer on the "what God is like" test, but didn't fully understand it with my heart.
I don't think I'm the only person who has misunderstood God's love. Most of us, to some degree, have a difficult time understanding, believing, or accepting God's absolute and unlimited love for us. The reasons we don't receive, trust, or see His love vary from one person to the next, but we all miss out because of it.

A few months ago, I began to pray about the fact that I knew the Lord and I knew that He had this infinite amazing love for me, but I felt like I didn't fully get it in my heart. I just felt like there was something that I was missing or just NOT GETTING. And I began to pray that He would show me and help me to understand- to really understand and get it on a deeper level.

And I think this is part of that. I would love to write more on this and what's going on in my brain while reading this and thinking on this, but I'm not sure that I have any more good coherent thoughts at the moment. I am starting to see things and think about things differently, and I can't wait until I have a good enough grasp to share more with you. He is beginning to show me and BLOW MY MIND, and it is SO COOL. Stay tuned for more on how cool God is.

I went upstairs and began to get ready to go out, and I started singing this song, which I haven't even heard in months. I couldn't figure out what it was exactly, so of course I turned to iPhone slash youtube to help me out (duh). :) How perfect:

I will not boast in anything,
No gifts, no power, no wisdom.
But I will boast in Jesus Christ,
His death and resurrection.
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer.
But this I know with all my heart-
His wounds have paid my ransom.

How deep the Father's love for us,
How v a s t beyond all measure.