mixtape 9.

title: that's life.
 
1. We Are Golden - Mika
2. Wavin' Flag - Kanaan
3. Tiny Dancer - Ben Folds Five
4. That's Life - Frank Sinatra
5. Something to Believe In - FM Static
6. One, Two, Three - Len Barry
7. I'm Gonna Find Another You - John Mayer
8. I Want You Back - Jer Coons
9. I Just Love You - Five For Fighting
10. Hold It In - Jukebox the Ghost
11. Famous in a Small Town - Miranda Lambert
12. Esther - Esterlyn
13. Comin' Home To You - Ryan Hawkrider
14. C'est La Vie - Bewitched
15. Breathe in This Life - Denison Witmer

August 30, 2012.

 I found this one today while searching for something else. I think it's worth sharing:

My friends all started school this week. Tonight, I got paid to rope calf dummies, play Arenaball, eat s'mores, and hang out with 5th graders. ...I am beyond excited that I get to do this... I love my job. I hope I can love and serve well here over the next 12 months. Constant prayers for patience, energy, and endurance.

I was thinking today about that day at the coffee shop, back in January. He was writing on his computer, and I was journaling and reading. ...I was upset at the situation, and I was angry for being put in such an awkward position.

I found Romans 8. I remember looking across the table and saying, "Man. Nothing else matters." And I had peace. He closed his computer and listened as I read aloud and talked. 

Romans 8. Straight up truth, and honestly nothing that I am battling matters when placed next to that. Victory is mine in Christ. All day, every day.

The same is true now. 8 months and chapters later, a pile of junk and the road trip of getting from there to here. The past months have challenged and stretched and drained me more than words can express. But even in broken relationships and seasons in the desert, Romans 8. I will cling to that and wait patiently and confidently for the Lord. #encouragement

June 4, 2012

In the quiet moments before the chaos of Fitness Adventures:

"Dear, you have to forgive."

"How."

"As I have loved you, so you must love on another." 

forward motion.

 

Today I am moving to camp!

To follow my adventures, check out my camp blog here.

I'll see you when I see you, blog world!

a tree in a story about a forest.

I recently finished reading Don Miller's book, "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years."
I highly recommend it, so if you're looking for a new book to read, this is a great one.

I have always appreciated the art of Story.
I have been lucky enough over the past year or so to be surrounded by friends who share my love of this art, and we've spent much time discussing our stories and the fact that all of these are part of a bigger Story being authored by our Creator. This is something that the Lord has been showing me and teaching me about a lot since I graduated last May.

I want to live a good story.

I want my life to be a good story. I have always said this. 

But what does that even mean? How do I accomplish that, and what does it look like to live a good story? In his book, Miller tackles this idea and gives readers 200-plus pages of food-for-thought. That, of course, got me thinking about my own story.   

First and foremost, my story is not about me. This is something that I've always known but needed to be reminded of this summer. My story is not about me. There are much bigger and better things going on here.

Honesty time: this summer has been really tough.

At the beginning, I got broken up with for the first time in my life, and it punched me in the face. Hard. I lost my best friend during a 5 minute phone call from camp and all of a sudden nothing was the same as it had been. For those of you keeping track at home, that is what we like to call an inciting incident.    

The middle was full of weeks spent at a job that I couldn't wait to get out of, no less than two separate battles with a vicious stomach bug, anger and hurt and all of the other things that go with it, late night talks with friends, phone calls home, and plenty of doubt and questions about the future. 

Cool story, right? Girl gets dumped, girl has crappy summer, girl has no idea what she's doing with her life. I'm pretty sure that would top the New York Times Worst-Sellers List. It's not a great story, and it happens all the time. No one wants to read about that. Here's the good news: the story is not about the girl.

"There are two myths that we tend to believe about our stories: the first is that they're about us, and the second is that because they're about us, they don't matter. But they're not only about us, and they matter more than ever right now. My life is not a story about me. My life is a story about who God is and what He does in a human heart. There is nothing small or inconsequential about our stories. There is, in fact, nothing bigger."
- "Bittersweet," Shauna Niequist

My story is not about me, and I am not the author. The Lord has better plans for me than anything I could create for myself, and I have heard His voice constantly this summer, "Let go of the story you designed for yourself, and let me give you the Story I've created."

The story I designed for myself was in Austin. 

This summer I was forced to let go of a big part of it, and the rest followed after. 

It kicked my butt in more ways than one, but at the same time, it has been so neat to see how the Lord has used all of it to draw me closer to Himself and make me more like the woman He has created me to be.

I have learned about His faithfulness this summer, and I have seen the ways He provides for me daily. This summer has been an exercise in patience and trust, and I have been challenged to face my conflict with courage. I have learned about how different my day can look when I give Him my chaos as opposed to trying to carry it on my own, and I have sought and received peace. I pursued His plans for my next chapter, and He has brought me back to Sky Ranch. 

The story is not about me. I am a character in a much bigger story. The big story is about how He uses all of our little stories for His purpose and His glory. Our stories point back to Him.

Early on, Miller said something that stuck out to me: “Nobody really remembers easy stories. Characters have to face their greatest fears with courage. That’s what makes a story good.” 

Fear and conflict and courage. That is the story of my last few months. He also asserts, “If the point of life is the same as the point of a story, the point of life is character transformation." And I digress, my story is about who God is and what He does in a human heart.

 

The story of my summer has been about getting me from where I was to where I need to be. 

A story about how the Author used circumstances and struggles to make my heart more like His -- now THAT is a good story.

(The cliff-notes version is summed up in that scene from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Ron reads Harry's tea leaves in Divination class, and says, confused, "...so you're going to suffer, but you're going to be happy about it." Well said, Mr. Weasley, well said.)

So here we are at the end. Summer is over, and tomorrow I start my full-time job at camp.

In the words of someone somewhere, "freakin' BOOYAH."

"If I have a hope, it's that god sat over the dark nothing and wrote you and me, specifically, into the story, and put us in with the sunset and the rainstorm as though to say, Enjoy your place in my story. The beauty of it means you matter, and you can create within it even as I have created you."

- Miller, "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years"

Come, let us return to the Lord.

He has torn us to pieces;

now he will heal us.

He has injured us;

now he will bandage our wounds.

In just a short time he will restore us,

so that we may live in his presence.

Oh, that we might know the Lord!

Let us press on to know him.

He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn

or the coming of rain in early spring.

- Hosea 6:1-3

Capitol City.

Before I left, I asked Tucker to let me borrow his camera so that I could capture some of my favorite places in Austin. We spent a Saturday driving around town, adventuring and enjoying summer:

 

 

 

 

 

Instant photographer.

 

Two of my favorites.

 

My favorite tree.

"Magic Tree Park" 

 

 

Goodbye, Austin. 

I really do love you SO MUCH.

 

Sky Ranch, here I come!

many the miles.

There's too many things I haven't done yet,

There's too many sunsets I haven't seen. 

away.

First night back in my high school bedroom, officially.
I no longer live in Austin, and that's freaking weird.

The move was successful, and I only cried a little today.
More tears will come, I'm sure, when I leave for good on Tuesday.
Until then, I will try to block them out.
Don't get me wrong, I am so beyond excited for what lies ahead.
It is so hard, however, to leave all of the things I love behind.

Today I wondered a lot if this move is me running away.
It's been the nagging question at the back of my mind for the past week,
and today I had about 200 miles to think it over.
I have never been the type of person to run away, and I don't want to start now.

Over the doubt, "No."
I had a long talk with the Lord about it, and I remembered all of the ways that He has been leading me to this point over the past few months, and years even. 
"Haley. You know that camp is where you belong. You've known it for a long time."